Haha so you are never gonna want to meet my mom now...she just found your thong in her front seat
you busted in the room, ripped the covers off of us, ... and fist pumped
These 5 days benders will be the death of me. Just living and breathing is a struggle right now.
I got called a drunken housewife today in class. I'm proud, not many people can say they've achieved their life goals like I have by the time they turn 20
two questions - what stuff of mine was pawned and who has the pawn tickets.
Seriously? You DON'T remember putting all those Swedish fish in the waffle iron b/c you wanted "One big Swedish fish?" That waffle iron was a wedding gift.
I bought a vibrating wall dildo with my tax return. You?
I just sugar scrubbed my vagina. If I don't get laid tonight, me and the universe are gonna have some problems.
Oh, I also stabbed a guy Friday and he still asked me out
Why would you keep yourself in a sharting situation
Sex in a tree, bucket list CHECK!
On a scale of 1-10 how inappropriate is it for me to ask if Walgreens offers teacher discounts when purchasing a Plan B pill?
Omg. I definitely just got hit on by my doctor AFTER he completed my pap smear which clearly showed I was in the middle of an outbreak. What. The. Fuck.
There is a huge naked guy in the kitchen with the boner of a lifetime and what I believe is an assault rifle casually resting on his shoulder.
A Valium induced mom decided to walk into my bedroom this morning without knocking. Guess what I was doing? FML
Randomize
