Well how sick are u. Ive got a good immune system.
rolled in at 7am w/ 2 girls i met at the strip club. my neighbor was getting up to mow the lawn before he took his kids to school. i'm 31. he's younger. if given the chance, you think he'd want to switch places?
Last night was def like the makeout party episode of full house
Oh yes. The girl who wanted me to watch her pee.
i think i want to fuck a midget just to see how difficult it would be
He just asked if I would make his black snake moan. Dating basketball players is not worth the glory
Day 1 of the Fuck Your Ex weekend has been productive. Already boned Steph and we're both still glad we arnt together anymore.
that was THE gayest party i've ever been to
To be fair, the theme was Cabaret. I don't know what you were expecting.
Some girl came up to us crying that she lost her phone and you said "if it's meant to be, let it be"
This girl I interned with got engaged today and I'm just like over here taking plan B with my tacos and PBR.
We were going to play manhunt in a strip club, calling it mancunt.
HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED
You start to question your morals when you wake up at 430 and there's three people naked...that you don't no
It's just really funny to hear them talk about March for Life when literally every single one of those girls has had an abortion
2 weeks shy of 25 and all I’m wishing for is a secret admirer who pulls my trash cans to the curb Wednesday morning for me because I always forget to Tuesday’s nights thanks to it being dollar draft night at the local bar
Randomize
