i just had a dream that i could control how black Will Smith was with a remote.i need to stop sleeping with the TV on
Lady with a stroller in a bar. Think she's out of my league?
hey you didnt make it to our afterparty what happened?
Ran around with a boom box broke a trampoline float, had a girl lick my ear the usual
no really all good couples have similar hair colors!
girl is pretty boring. i'm gonna see if she'll let me finger her.
There was a gay guy in drag passed out against the wall but we had sex in there anyway.
I love you more than champagne and correct grammar
when seducing a hipster, do you think taking a nude pic on a lomo-camera app would increase my chances? grainy off-colored boobs and telling him how much i like reading salinger?
We're only going to be this young and this cute but for so long. And how often is it that a pack of Albanian law students is in your house?!
I feel like we should apologize to the light saber. We were REALLY inappropriate with it last night.
It's fun yes. But hard on the body. I woke up with her purse, socks and one of her shoes in my room. The other shoe was outside. What the fuck were we doing last night?
Also, we found a geriatric Snoop Lion.
you can't tell me not to come to work cause roads are bad then ask me an hour later to come in and expect me to be sober
So what other shows do you masturbate to? Or is it just friends
Are you done yet? I've eaten three corndogs so I'm ready 2 party.
Randomize
