how do you clear previous safari searches on an iPhone? i asked my brother to google something for me and "big penis" "empire chinese food" and "reverse cowgirl" popped up.
He said he used to draw on the walls with poop when he was a kid.
Haha I wonder if my burp offended him. So I gave him a fist pump to signify how friendly I am
sitting in my room in a shopping cart. they couldnt get my legs out of the holes. i want breakfast.
there's a liquor store near my therapist
i might give it a shot.
no, that was the night I slathered your dick in the icing from my birthday cake
Dont forget the glove box taco bell stash i saved for drunk us.
He brought a TOOTHBRUSH and TOOTHPASTE with us on our date..... I want to go home and forget I ever decided to be nice and go on this date in the first place...... A TOOTHBRUSH!?!?!
Can't decide if I want to watch full house or the fleet wood Mac concert during the presidential debate.
I got my eyebrow ring humped out. How is that even possible?
Wanna have a sleepover and take me to court in the morning?
You left me a message at 3am crying because you just found out there's a Paddington Bear statue in Peru.
I feel like my foot is being amputated. Or maybe it's the vodka. I couldn't tell you.
We talked about breaking up, had sex, and in the middle of said sex, talked more about breaking up- best sad day ever
easy for you to say. you're not the one who has to explain why you woke up with a pineapple and a used condom.
Randomize
