I have my period so I felt bad and blew him with cash cab in the background. I wanted to yell out the answers but my mouth was full.
I just sneezed cum. He better have a damn good day at work.
Every time she shows up on my newsfeed, I get the taste of tequila in my mouth.
I miss waking up knowing you're passed out under my bed.
my dad just asked me if my booty call guy that comes over at 3am and leaves at 6 would like to stay for sunday brunch next week. you in?
I hope I take a shit on your face in your dreams tonight.
You insisted on calling your mixture of Bacardi & powdered milk "a Jamacian Facial."
He wanted me naked, so I got naked. You can't hold that against me.
You had your dick do your apologizing for you last night. Apology accepted.
WHY did you say no to the sex seance?
You shall now refer to my vagina as patty and patty only
the guy next to you kind of looks like a penguin. i'm going to fuck him
I'm fucking my way through California and it's kind of fun.
I just met his mom for the first time with a hang over. Then we went to watch his 8 year old cousin get baptized. Apparently his family loves me. I should drink more often.
He kept apologizing that the nerve damage makes him take a while to finish. Meanwhile he gave me 3 orgasms and a leg cramp
Only you could benefit from a reckless driver
Randomize
