jackpot. dress really slutty so he knows you mean business
I don't know what your problem is but seriously you're a cunt for throwing up that song on your page. It's rude as fuck
omg its myspace i didnt think anyone took that seriously anymore
i just ran into my boss at the liquor store. we didnt exchange words, just nodded in mutual understanding.
he prob just wants to be friends and here i am photoshopping our kids
He got 20 stiches.. Who knew so much damage could come from a single shopping cart.
In one night, this kid threw a firecracker under a fucking cop car, crashed three seperate parties, and passed out in a tree in our backyard. Do you even know who he is?
He led me to his room and handed me the remote, he left to go take a shower and there is a group of guys across the hall just staring at me... Its like they know something i dont. Help me.
Hah no, But it might feel like water boarding to my soul
All three shower stalls were filled with couples fucking and then someone yelled "switch" and... We switched
Sorry, I was unaware dragging you upstairs for sex was such an awful thing.
My goal for the weekend: procure a blowjob using only stern glances, hand gestures, and crudely-drawn stick figures.
I feel like ditching all logic and responsibility and get shit-faced before the week's over. Thoughts?
My New Years resolution is actually to be MORE petty
Apparently i tried to feed this guy's piranhas my whole left arm.. according to him, i was "showing them whos boss, bc if they try to eat my arm, im guna punch their face"
Sorry if that was awkward, i will never call you sober ever again
Randomize
