Is it necrophilia if we're both dead?
Applied 4 a nanny job usin a Legit Site. Xplain to me how the couple I found offered me a 3some complete with 'sexy pics' of the wife blowin hubby. wtf?
obviously you're part succubus.
The highlight of my Saturday night was singing along to the sound of music alone in my room.
Best feeling in the world? holding your pee all day for a negative preggo test
Part in the USA is on your top 25 most played on iTunes. you have NO RIGHT to judge me.
Apparently having him hold an open book in front of me while i'm blowing him doesn't count as studying...
You would think that someone would have been sober enough to object to vodka bong races.
I'm blaming hurricane Irene if I get pregnant tonight.
i was gonna do a lot worse than just throw cat food on you while you were passed out, but then you sleep vomited and i felt a little bad
I had to wash my hair with conditioner because my sister got hammered and gave the dog a 3am sprinkler bath with my shampoo.
I really wanna just be like, can you just eat me out and stop whining
I think that would solve a million problems
Holy sore nipples Batman
It's only ok to pee out the window in the afternoon when you're drunk.
Probably shouldn't be looking at memes at my grandmother's funeral
I'm at the gym. I've taken enough caffeine to feel inspired to be a low budget instagram fitness model. I totally forgot my push up bra though
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