Ha i know. My vag can't go too crazy for a boy halfway across the country. It doesn't have that good of range
No one goes out in public like that, unless they do anal
explain to me why "crisis hotline lolz" is in my contacts?
She's okay as an interesting car wreck. But as a sexual object she's funny
Nah it's cool, I made him pinky promise me he wouldn't die if I left him passed out in the bathroom.
Thru out the entire phone conversation I went from thinking: he's making a gay come-on, to he's trying to sell me drugs, before realizing he was offering me a job with an internet company. Things are gonna be awkward in class this week.
She gives pretty bad head, but when it's in her dad's Lexus SUV it's tough to complain.
My period started right as he was entering, which really helped me sell the "I've never done this before" bit.
He said I kept trying to give him directions back to my house in Rhode Island, and that I started crying when he told me I live in Phoenix.
Mcnellies. I'm drunk enough that you have a window. Capitalize.
Check snapchat. Selfie game still on point mid vomit.
My life is just a trash fire of work and Japanese video games now
The best part of last night is not remembering half of it
What the hell was that?
Genius. It was sheer genius.
she's 6'2. you bet your ass i slept with her.
Randomize
