She kept saying "I didn't do it" but she was so drunk she forgot her pee was orange from her UTI medicine.
we ike ciroccccc we love patroneeeee shost shothosthsothosthostsssss veryboyddddyyyy
go home
Cute you're picking friends over dick. I feel like this is the trailer for a lifetime movie.
you just used a box of cheese-its to get into the bar
It's been decided..lingerie is an investment. You get free breakfast and cab rides out of it.
he definitely had sex before you were fully potty trained.
Smoked a Vape in the library status: completed
Sent him a picture of my pregnant boobs from last year, think he'll notice the difference?
Here's the thing, you got road head in two different cars tonight. You feel lucky yet?
Just made a beer run. At 9am. In my pjs. I should not be graduating today
Somehow i instagrammed my acceptance letter while blacked out. Then my grandma was the first to comment on it. I got over 50 likes....Phd here I come....
You were holding onto her boobs like you were adrift at sea and they were the only flotation devices
If y'all wanna know how far the apple fell from the tree I'm sexting during Easter service. Mom would be so proud 😳
Nope. Im a prince of the americas. I treat my women like future queens. Also, im drunk watching the royal wedding
I just made myself 3 peanut butter sammies because I was too hungry to watch porn
Randomize
