There is a new fb quiz: "are you at ypical woman, future ex or from crazy town" - should i take it?
Aren't all three of those the same though?
I forgot to tell you. I'm at a porno shoot today.
i think i'd rather have a trophy of a like jizz stained curtain or something
On a scale of your daily life to smuggling crack into the DR, how illegal is it?
Well, practice makes perfect. Let's start playing Eye of the Tiger and do a blowjob training montage.
Dear America, sometimes I miss your Everclear and its consequences.
CONGRATULATIONS! You have won: pictures of my nipples!
I didn't know what happened last night until the bruises in the shape of hands showed up on my boobs. Then it all made sense.
I'm on the toilet with no toilet paper. When are you coming over? I'm contemplating on just staying here until you arrive.
Did my married ex-boyfriend really tell me that he prays for me? Fucking Judas
My roommate fed me my birth control pill while I was hungover laying on the couch so that's how my morning has been
I ditched my one night stand in the hotel lobby. How did he add me on Snapchat?
I am so disappointed that he didn't steal a Christmas tree last night.
Burnt food and a broken vibrator. Disappointment after disappointment. Is April a man?
He’s got a big dick and a big ego. This could be fun
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