currently hungover, lying in bed and cutting cheese with my drivers license. ashamed? not even a little bit.
he came up my nose again i swear he does this just to piss me off
Have you been tested recently?
Well I got my shots when I was a baby so I think I'm immune
The foreigner finally woke up and the first thing he did was look up a map of the u.s. His destination is to pennsylvania.
I'm going as Jenn Sterger if she answered Favre's calls and ended up in a trash can. If I don't get laid tonight I'm going to be pissed
i can't decided whether the fact that her nipples are bigger then her palms is a problem or not
i like being sick. whatever the doctor gave me is awesone. the walls are waving at me. i never want to get better.
Yeah, I wouldn't mind getting fingered in the corner of a dive bar again.
The only thing I regret was that he was wearing a scarf when we made out.
You slammed your face into the toilet and declared you were moving your bed into the bathroom in the morning. Also, you insisted on crawling everywhere because feet are "overrated."
I AM OFFERING YOU ALCOHOL AND THE CHANCE TO LET ME SAY FUCK IT TO MY RESPONSIBILITIES. HOW MANY TIMES DOES THIS HAPPEN?!
Apparently HR frowns upon current employees introducing themselves to the new employee as "Hi I'm sleeping with your cousin"
I've decided to give up hard drugs for the rest of the year.
I lost Mario kart three times but I got laid so it wasn't the WORST night I've ever had.
I remember the Prince Albert and the three penises in the threesome. But the rest no.
Randomize
