There's a 34yo winking at me. Why do i find this weird when my bf is a 38yo married man?
last night i was so high that when a homeless person asked me for a dollar, i responded: dolla dolla bill ya'll.
I ran out of diet so I'm mixing captain with a juice box. Being a mom has finally paid off.
almost just walked around my whole building with my bowl in my hand before i remembered 420 isnt a get out of jail free card
Being back home for the summer opens up so many opportunities to have sex without increasing my number
just wondering who decided to put a cup of throw up in my fridge
They have a guy from new zealand living under their stairs.. they don't charge him rent. He just buys food and booze and bartends their house parties.
I just had a flash of memory of me asking all of the girls if they were on their periods. If they said yes I said it made us moon sisters.
I fingered her though her window because she couldn't leave
its cute though when you google his name more than one mug shot comes up from different states
So I just stirred my shower drink with my razor.
I'm not going to ask which end you used.
I have jury duty tomorrow
I almost deep fried my finger today and yet I think you are worse off than I am.
Nothing like introducing yourself to your high school boyfriend's wife as "the girl who took his virginity"
Wtf happened last night
You traded your bra for a shot so I'd say you probably don't wanna know
How do you confess that you've had phone sex with your fiancé's brother's ex-girlfriend's new guy she's dating who has also slept with your best friend?
Randomize
