The jonas brothers playing in your laptop. This is why guys won't sleep with you...
BLOW JOB GIRL IS IN WALMART
Some people actually refer to her as Kaitlyn you know.
I just threw up a christmastime peep. I am literally already sick of the holidays.
He was actually able to throw up in the bucket from the top bunk. im impressed.
Not cool at all. Last night I organized my condoms by expiration date. I need to get laid.
Howd you meet this guy?
I found him next to my pants on sunday morn.
honestly I asked the same thing when we had our slip n slide and margarita party
Currently coming up with judgment, the game. Works well on buses, will probably be more entertaining in bars.
Wait so they unscrewed the bathroom door to find you naked?
I can't believe you're trying to guilt me into a blow j because a tornado made you homeless.
Is it working?
Smoked a joint with my old camp counselor and now we're going to a strip club. There is a god.
My mom just said she had more presents to wrap, so I should "smoke some weed & go back to bed"... She really is Santa Claus
I would use the term shit faced but I'm too polite for that
Here’s how sick I am. I’m not hungry. I don’t want coffee. And I don’t want dick. So, you know it’s bad.
like honestly, the vodka had to go somewhere, and your moms soap dispenser just seemed right at the time..
Randomize
