i've decided that sluttiness is like a disease, it can lay dormant in you for years and then one day you go to college and with all the booze and drugs and boys and time on your hands symptoms begin to show then one day BAM you're a huge slut. it's like how izzie had skin cancer and it grew into brain cancer.
Walked into this guys room, saw a tickle me elmo under his desk with white stains in its mouth. This is awkward.
just took my birth control pill with a shamrock shake. happy st. patrick's day
he even offered to make my bed in the morning.
Two bottles of champagne and half a pizza later, I'm crying myself to tears watching The Nanny. Happy finals week.
Hey. Hope youre not too hungover. Also, did you put a Christmas tree in my guest bathroom and cover it with condoms?
Also, I don't remember opening my gifts from my family. It was cool when I woke up with a new ihome.
Remember when we pinky swore we'd never feel hungover alone...
I'm in a waiting room at the hospital - and there's a dude here who is WAY too proud of his urine sample.
I just had the weirdest moment. Made eye contact at the bar with a girl who has seen my vagina.
I think it's time to give up this life and become vikings. You in?
Any sexual interaction is meaningless without pizza during half time.
At one point she put on my dads pants and yelled after him EMILIOOOO! Dude, my dads name is Mark.
you said you were the change fairy and you kept throwing all of your quarters at me.
I just walked in on Joel doing a buck naked tripod headstand in front of the mirror so he could see the bug bite on his balls
Randomize
