stupid gm bankruptcy made me miss the showcase showdown
Those cock suckers. We need to know who's winning the hot tub and the vacation to the alps
Having sex with her was like reading the Wall Street Journal.
i love that you felt the need to clarify that you don't actually have drugs in your vagina.
would he be offended if i told him that "national coming out day" is october 11. thats subtle enough right?
I'm too tired to go all the way tonight, especially if you're going to quote Katy Perry at me during
I just sat through a State Farm mortgage Insurance commercial to watch a Trick Daddy video. Is this the target audience they are going for here?
We JUST got rid of the new years fatties at my gym and now the spring break fatties are here. goddamn.
I ate shit on a rock, and when I got up this car full of people asked me if I was okay, and I just sprinted away screaming "I am a banana!"
I'm going to make out with someone. I'm on a mission. I don't even care if I'm wearing beer goggles. As long as he's not shorter than me, gay, or a woman.
I'm not sure if I should be proud of you for having morals or disappointed in you for letting your sex life get this sad.
Good luck. While you're suffocating on a dick, I'll be eating pizza rolls. Being a good girl.
sorry for showing your butt to the bar
sorry for licking your cheek
When you start lapping your martini like a cat it's time to go home. Partys over.
Sorry for peeing on your books last night. I wouldn't leave them next to the window anymore.
I was in line at Panera when I got the pic you sent to your coworker. I just showed your vag to a soccer mom. The vibrator was a nice touch.
Randomize
