I cant believe you went over there and fucked her last night after everything you said
she invited me over to play the wii, it's not like i intended to
You KNEW her power was out...
used his ipod to set the mood...1st song was livin on a prayr 2nd song was disco stick
i expected more from guys that i meet at the jersey shore.
i just found five singles in my underwear?! im suspicious but delighted none the less
Friends don't let friends talk to people who live in Orlando. Sorry I've failed you.
We've finally become those guys who you'd see in middle school when you went to the park who are just stoned out of their minds sitting on the swings.
She just messaged me 19 sad faces.
Does she know that uploading nude photos to photobucket and networking are two different things? You may want to ask.
We name dropped you at the liquor store and got a ten percent discount!
my 3 favorite things in life are tequila, dicks, and making sandwiches. that DOES NOT make me a bad person.
Just beat 2 Norwegian women in beer pong. Never been so proud to be an American.
Wheres my essay?
You mean the vodka drenched shreds of paper taped all over the walls of the hallway?
When we were all out of beer you took a bite out of the cardboard beer box and said "close enough."
I told the American that we should start banging in Canada incase I get hurt and have to go to the hospital.. is that rude to say?
An "unreasonable amount of ejaculate" isn't a reason to be angry at me.
If I hear that song one more time I will drive to hell and make John Lennon eat my ass.
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