do you know mcdonalds refuses to give out large cups of water now? you have to buy a bottle or they give you a small cup. No exceptions.
RUDE.
I said FINE, then I'd like 7 small waters and 2 of those nifty carrying cases to carry about my h2o.
outsmarted mickey deeeees
wrong asian. never thought that would happen.
Goodbye hot boy in my geo class...goodbye my lover, goodbye my friend. you have been the one, you have been the reason I came to claassss
I understand. Hypothetically what should one do after throwing up in the shower?
you came downstairs saying you were now 'dressed to impress'
what was i wearing?
nothing
we boned then he told me that he had a thing for my gay roommate. worst night ever
We had to coat check the pizza.
CORAL IS FAR MORE RED THAN HER LIPS RED
Oh god you're Sonnet 130 drunk, aren't you.
How's your threesome situation going?
Optimistic
Best thing she said after I kicked her out "rugby guys have single handedly ruined my faith in men"
You looked at me, said I was a nice guy. Then you drunkenly climbed on top of me and said you liked me and wanted me.
We need to stop going on dates to the strip club.
Yesterday I went home with one shoe, today I go home with three. Fucking win.
I just had to explain to my grandma what a reach-around is. Too far..
The bartender remember my drink from last sat. I think we just became drocals...drunk. locals.
Randomize
