She was hit by a car at 47 mph and lived. That explains everything.
Just realized the guy is in my class. Unless there's another guy that had half his ear bit off at a St. Patty's party
Okay. I really need to get out of this guys bed and get home. It's two in the afternoon. He's not even HERE.
I was rolling balls and tried to donate blood as an act of kindness to the sick person who would receive it
no. 1 rule of bromania: no females
I'm not mad at you for letting me use my air mattress as a toilet, i'm mad at you for letting me lay back down on it.
I broke down outside of an all boys correctional facility
well if that's not a gay porn waiting to happen, i dont know what is...
her 18 year old son fed me pieces of a french roll like a pigeon, as I lay on the floor of the bathroom crying.
The bartender seems to not like the DD's anymore. I'm sad
its so sad we are done celebrating 21st bdays everytime one of us turned 21 everyone else got laid
Lock the bathroom door next time you are going to masterbate with the shower head, okay?
I was just power-washing my vagina.
We met some guy at the beach, and dug a hole with him. He invited us to "come back at night and smoke a blunt in this hole"
I might as well just sew it shut at this point.
I was in a bad mood so I guilted her into giving me $100 on a weekly basis and now I feel bad but I don't know how to tell her I hustled her
Come on in and take your pants off
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