Go study a dick amy that's outrageous
So that's a yes to the cocaine usage and a no to the rollerblading
Mines from giving head on hardwood floors.
I typed "housewife" into monster.com's search engine....I got zero results...kinda bummed
So, when he came he screamed MORTAL KOMBAT!!!! at the top of his lungs and all of his roomates yelled back FINISH HER!!!!.....yeah kinda akward
Well someone named our apartment "the eiffel tower" on facebook check-in so I think they know..
I had to download the flashlight app so I could finish taking a dump when the power went out.
My roommates just built a mini golf course upstairs while I was sleeping.
Is it sad that I have better conversations with his roommate before or after sex than I do with him in general?
Birthday are for suffering. TAke some tylenol pm and day-drink tomorrow
i went to the 24h massage place last night and brought down the price for a hand job from $50 to $12.75 and half the big mac left in my bag.
Just traded a shot of whiskey for a warm PBR on public transit. It's that's sort of night already.
I'm not sure how to explain it, but I feel like our penises have a connection. Like long lost brothers. We're not even gay.
Honestly I volunteered because the email made it sound like it was a once in a lifetime opportunity to be a sexual spy kid.
I can see. My condolences to your vagina.
Randomize
