i wonder if i could find a boyfriend who would call me big papa
sure if you go to prison
And I wrote a rap so it was actually a productive afternoon minus not paying our bills.
this morning my mom told me to get a new vibrator because mine was too loud last night
i fell asleep watchin iron chef that was the blender she heard. i dont even own a vibrator
i love beer. I convinced myself that I'm going to ace the exam tomorrow. I can't even do that when I actually study.
Ps. The strap-on in the pic i sent you last night was not mine. Just wanted to clear that up.
I have no valid justification for peeing in your kitchen, but I don't think it's worth breaking up over.
Chugged a beer while being walked to the bathroom by campus police to pour the beers out.
We made the bar tender tell us how he proposed to his girlfriend. In detail. While we made gushing noises. We are embarrassments to females everywhere
Why not. Its my b-day, you're in town, I'm in town, bars are in town, and alcohol is in town. I don't see anything not good about those things.
You could have chosen coming to fuck me over getting too hammered to drive. But you made your bed, and now you get to jack off alone in it.
The leasing office is hiring, so I gave them my resume and class schedule. I doubt they'll call me considering last summer at their "exotic animal" pool party I marched in with a funnel and demanded the employees chug. I doubt they've forgotten.
I'm at home, drinking with my cat. While this is an enjoyable lifestyle, other plans are preferable.
I just fell in love with a beard, the guy it's attached to isn't great but I think I'm going to take one for the team
It was like I was gay for pay but except being gay I became straight and instead of for pay it was for coke.
Do you ever just want to be mashed potatoes?
Randomize