Blew in her face. She is Pissed. Yahtzee. As she brushes her teeth.
you told him you liked to chip your nail polish to look like different countries. im gonna guess that no, you didn't sleep with him.
Well, I guess this was as good a night as any to find out I don't know how to use my fire extinguisher.
well at least you didnt have sex with him. i feel like a proud mother. you always have sex with them.
If you have a glass table... Put it up. I don't wanna hurt myself again, I just got my stitches out...
He goes "sorry was at the gym. Some of us workout " and I wanted to text him back and go "well some of us do occasional drugs so we don't have to"
I just ASL-ed someone for the first time since 2002.
Were you drinking last night?
Because typically I don't associate the phrase 'Go sleepy time' with sobriety.
Tequila, beer, rum, gin, and vodka all mixed in my body last night. The whole "never turn down free booze" is catching up to me. Hungover = understatement of the year.
I just got a girl to make out with me just by saying "get at me." Get at me
I’m pretty sure I have teeth marks on my neck
I'M NOT EVEN STOPPING FOR WINE SO I CAN GET TO THAT DICK QUICKER.
He had been licking my nipple for like 5 minutes and it wouldn't get hard. He asked me to lick my own and when I did, instant hardness. I realized I'd rather have sex with myself then this guy ..
I had to ask my mom to look for my kegle ball...
So I have a horrible yeast infection right now and I learned that Scott is cheating on me and now he has a yeast infection in his mouth and in his stomach a pretty aggressive one too. I believe the doctors call it thrush. Text me in the morning tell me what you think.
Randomize
