Don't be a dummy cum on the tummy. Make her a slut, and cum in her butt. Have no fear, jizz in her ear. Don't be a noob, cum on her boob. Forget her rack, blow on her back. Just take off your coat and jizz in her throat. And if she seals off her holes, cum in her rolls
is that a poem?!
Talk about awkward... Just went to dinner with my mother and realized I fucked our waiter the night before. She HAD to see the looks he was giving me!
why is it whenever you puke in the park there are always little kids on the swings?
i knew she was high when she broke up the cookies into her glass of milk and ate it like cereal
you convinced the bartender to un-cut you off by letting him touch your boobs whenever you ordered a drink.
his life revolves around getting high and answering people on yahoo answers. he's perfect for you.
Regular drunk falling on flat ground did not prepare me for drunk falling into a pile of firewood.
You crossed every boundary on the boundary spectrum last night. You're like the illegal immigrant of drunk actions. No more holiday drinking for you.
Here is a brilliant idea passed on from men who have that same regret. WEAR A FUCKING CONDOM ALWAYS.
"He was so not worth staining my backseat for."
Ive fucked up. im like a feral dog rabidly chasing an infrequent dream amidst a cataclysm of disaster
Your favorite boobs are sending you seasons greetings
She fucked the dishwasher AND the manager.
Well, she isn't a classist. You've got to give her that.
I just saw your mom take a body shot off an undergrad, please tell me you're somewhere near by.
To the woman who just heard me unscrew my flask in the Denny's women's bathroom at 10am: discretion isn't required but greatly appreciated.
Did you at least share?
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