walking on gravel proved too much for her barefeet so she traded her bra for some guys sneakers.
let me know it goes. try not to get bit. and if you can, get someone to videotape it.
Its 6 am and me and the girl in the next apartment have been taking turns puking and yelling "never agaaaain" thru the walls.
Whoever decided to wrap my shins in duck tape owes me new leg hair.
My catholic guilt is strong, but the alcohol is stronger.
He sent me a picture; erect penis, cat in hand and no pants on. He got a boob pic for that one.
I mean you guys are my friends and all but if you fuck with me I will not hesitate to set you on fire
If I don't have the money by then, I'll pay you in sex.
It's going to be 23.5 times of sex and 19 blow jobs. I just googled it.
that's the second time I've left that bar and slept with the person that's driven my car. thank god I don't take cabs..
the dude in the apartments across the street got a video of me railing blake on your front steps last night
shit like this is why i dont let you drink vodka anymore ..
The exact people you expect to find at a bar at 2pm are here. Come visit. We'd really like the company.
How do I convince my friend not to get tattoo tributes to her cats?
WHO DOES THAT
I told her it'd send up tons of red flags and she responded by telling me they're her babies. And she's sober.
Ya it was crazy the power went just as she was about orgasm and the vibrator got fried with the power surge
holy shit the yoga instructor bought his baby pig to class today
I sent him a blank text because I didn't want to "drunk text" him.
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