I like my sex mixed with concussions.
Do you think red sox nation has an official powerpoint template/memo format for resignations of manny support, bandwagon applications, and other official business?
note to self: Never ask your girlfriend to have a 3some with your ex...
Freshman orientation day on campus. Dear diary, JACKPOT.
Well, he sent me "techno kitty adventure" about 10 minutes ago. So, he could be anywhere.
Drunk. The frashmen love me. Give them. Toilrt paper. And shiots
I didn't cheat on him. He just hasn't been informed of the open part of our relationship.
They let me close the tennis center alone. It's a 6-minute drive from 2 of my booty calls. Scratch tennis court bj off the bucket list.
What drugs are we doing when you visit?
The correct answer is all the drugs because I just found out they have glow in the dark bubbles.
Not only did I get beyond cray cray this weekend. My body has nursed itself to plentiful and impeccable health. Fuck you world, I am back.
I'd tell u there's strippers to make you get here faster, but that would be a blatant lie... There's strippers here.
i may or may not be making depth charges with cough syrup. i'll call you if i survive.
my grandpa paid for my boob job but he just doesn't know it.
dude new orleans is fucking wild these two guys just performed dueling banjos except they were actually fighting with the banjos
I think he just shit his pants. Yep he did. That's unfortunate.
Randomize
