It made me feel like I need a reality show of my life so I could go back and watch the episodes to figure out how I got from the trunk of the car to my neighbors tree house...
That's why girls suck all the time. Blah blah nag nag drama drama buy me things but I won't touch your penis
So after I pop out this baby we need to just go on a monthlong coke binge so I can get skinny again before vegas
Ill bet we could have atleast fucked a girl who fucked a guy who has fucked tara reid. That's a famous circle right?
Now that I've lowered my makeout age to 21 I have a whole new sea to fish in.
do you really not remember him getting up at like 4am with a leaf blower running through the house and telling people to "WAKE THE FUCK UPPP"
We hooked up. It felt slightly wrong considering he is my foreign exchange student but there's a reason America imports. Foreigners got the goods.
I would lick a homeless mans crack teeth for a cup of coffee right now.
He's only done it missionary. His world is about to be rocked. Do you know what I look like from behind?
Well you were hungry, by then you cried and called yourself a basic bitch for eating crackers
I signed the divorce papers. Can I get a blowjob now?
Her vagina is like the upper echelon of Scientology and I don't have enough money to get in
I'm getting paid over-time to sit on reddit and look at dicks and abs all day. I'm really happy right now.
Drunk you wants to be petty, not you you.
where are you?
two trains and a bus walk of shame. so not worth it.
Randomize
