So its not gay if you have sex with another woman and its academic
so what if I'm having sex with a woman for recreation?
Thats gay
Dude, I woke up in the middle of the night and your room mate was just standing there at the foot of the bed, watching us sleep.. you don't remember me shaking the shit out of you to tell you this?!
This could explain the reason why I've been finding his clothing and keys scattered in random parts of my room..
AND THIS DOESN'T WORRY YOU?!
you threw your tampon into someones open car window...while they were driving.
...you put a chicken patty in my toaster last night..
the pub in dfw airport has a countdown timer to st. pattys day, to the second, i like texas
She loves me even though she knows all Ive done. Shes kind of like jesus.
He just slept in my bed for a couple hours and asked lots of questions about gay sex. No, I do not have his number.
chlamydia ends and my period begins. this isnt real life
My dealer threw in a "freestyle rap" today with my purchase. I dont know if I can handle this relationship.
Alas, very true. I'll sell some of my eggs and give you like 10%
And with my 90% I'll get a scooter with a sidecar. And a pony. Also with sidecar.
HE TRIED TO HIT ME WITH A CHAIR. Stoned video games are NOT happening again
...You tried to use your wallet to call her after you gave your cell phone to the cab driver as a "peace offering"
If I take one more surprise finger up the ass this week there will be hell to pay.
kick those bitches in the teeth and tell them mama came to party
You just kept yelling GET YOUR SKATES ON, BITCHES. WE'RE GOING STREAKING.
Randomize
