I wish costco sold astroglide.
i wish my brain was less awake, and didn't try and picture what you were talking about.
and while your girlfriend wears your relationship pants, i'll be wearing my ecstasy pants
we have a love-hate relationship...we love having sex but hate waking up next to eachother
I am so high I am beginning to unironically like Vanessa Carlton.
He promised he'd be the first bidder on my ebay item if i went home with him. Worth it.
remeber the saying "bad choices make good memories" dude our bad choices dont even make memories.
Just took a final in the room where I lost my virginity. I think it was god luck.
I knew I was high when I wanted to write a poem about how great it felt to wash my face
i dont know everytime i see her teeth i get erectile disfunction
I think he finally resigned to the fact he could not get off. He just looked at me and said "I'm having testicle difficulties," rolled over and passed out.
I just wanna be like "dude your gf's on a porn site" but i just dont know if i have the heart.
Its official the day you get back into town we are having a going away to jail party for me. My last wish before prison is to shit faced drunk with you, get into a fist fight, and then cuddle up and fall asleep. Just like old times <3
She jumped on a table and took off her shirt and started yelling things that no one understood. For being 3, she has a dead on impression of a drunk party girl.
Of course that's what I'm wearing. I need to find a beard to mount and ride STAT.
honestly i've never been more attracted to you than when you threw up on my floor
Randomize
