Watching the 1st game of the world cup. I'll drunk dial you at 8:30 to wake you up for work.
I don't think blacking out in class is a good idea. But I'm game
the first sign of life we got from you was four hours later. you smiled without opening your eyes when tom whispered in your ear we were getting buffalo wings.
I know I said I wouldn't, but he told me I looked like Mila Kunis. Reasons not to fuck him, go.
Well I squeegeed the puke off your arm at the gas station
Does hooking up with the gay pledge count as hazing?
I got back at him the only way I knew how, by hooking up with the guy he hates from their rival fraternity.
No. More. Tequila. Even the hot dog guy felt bad for me and you know that guy has seen some crazy shit.
No one parties "Full Karen". She once broke a couple up at the bar, ate the girl out in the bathroom and took the guy home.
Yes. He better. Or I will shave a penis into his beard while he sleeps.
He's mad at me because I said I wouldn't date him if his dick was smaller. I fail to see the issue
I mean she did throw a tantrum because you wouldn't let her suck your dick
I told him I was on my period but he says "I'm a doctor, you think I can't handle blood?" And just went for it. Jackpot
I'm not sure what happened. There's a frozen waffle in the floor and he's walking around with a curtain rod and making planes out of bread slices...
How do you say "put it in me" in Spanish... I'm dealing with language barriers here.
Randomize
