She had a bottle of NAIR in her bathroom, but she clearly hadn't been using it.
soooo we both peed the bed last night...
i got a blow job in the bathroom during intermission at the hockey game. i'm pretty sure i made Canada proud.
I tried to explain to him that we just wanted a stereotypical black friend to be in our group. He didn't take it too well... Never take me to the bar again.
I would get the one fuckin stripper that's a lesbian. THE ONLY ONE
Clearly I understand physics better when I'm on cocaine
I would like to apologize for asking to take advantage of you, wishing you a horny Hanukkah and whatever "abd ethw prnym to mzbe yur penis cna be friends" means.
oh my god i'm in a crawl space
See this is what happens when we don't have sex everyday
Welp I just blew a load probably the size of a small pond if not a lake
Who the fuck is this
I gave you a piece of bread to sober you up. You wiped your face off with it and then gave it back to me.
because. if I can't sit outside naked and eat my watermelon every morning then I really don't see the point in moving in with you.
I`m watching Shallow Hal & Jack Black has better nipples than Jimmy's chick.
My brother walked up to us as we were making out and was like "hey man, go to town!" and winked
ELLEHCIM
NYRMAK
DRAHCIR
WHAT??
Randomize
