Ok so serious question: if one wanted to say the plural of mongoose, would it be mongooses or mongeese?
So someone hacked my email and facebook and posted a boob pic I took a few years ago as my profile picture. I feel like an MTV commercial.
We had sex on a ferris wheel in canada, our relationship will never be the same
It took me four clicks to get to 2009 on his profile. This can't work.
In other news I have discovered that grindr is the easiest way to get free meals
Her one night stand followed us to mass. This is too funny for real life.
If I had a mugshot, I would totally use it as my main picture on Tinder, just to keep it interesting.
I would rather you cheat on me then you watch this season of Breaking Bad without me.
In last nights drunken stupor i apparently purchased a luxury travel package for two to Australia. So uh...get a passport and clear your schedule for next month
I need my daily rules like rule one don't put your dick in the vacuum cleaner
My disapointment is making my balls hurt :(
I'm killing it this week, I've peed my pants and put my vibrator into the washing machine.
P.s. There are few things I love more than brand new mascara and you are one of them.
Guy just rode past on a lowrider bike smoking a blunt, I want his life
Vocabulary what?!? Shakespeare is my bitch.
Randomize
