suntimes in life you find a rare opportunity, mine was bonin my gf in front of the tv
its like whenever the snow comes all the hott girls drop out of school. where are they
my resolution for 2011 is to fuck him whenever he wants it. this year I'm going above and beyond the call of booty.
So, do you ever feel like EVERY SINGLE ONE OF YOUR FRIENDS IS INVOLVED IN A MASSIVE AND INTRICATE CONSPIRACY TO COCKBLOCK YOU AT ALL COSTS?
She gave him a lap dance on the glass table. You can guess how that ended
One thing noone tells you about getting put in the drunk tank is do it barefoot. You get free flipflops.
What bar did i puke in last night
by bar you must mean bars and by in you must mean on
Am I allowed to compare getting cum'd on the face to a warm summer rain?
I just googled, "how to do boob makeup" thats the kind of night I wanna have.
I've been randomly kik messaging bearded men I find on Instagram while sitting unshowered in my underpants. I'm like the girl version of a creepy uncle.
He is indeed a crazy mutha fucka. But mark my words. MARK MY WORDS. My job has placed me at the same party as Tom Cruise. I. Am. Fucking. The. Crazy. Out. Of . That. Alien . Fucker.
A stripper just invited me to her daughter's birthday. Where did my life go wrong?
I am not a slut. I'm just very open with how much I love to have sex. Stop judging.
I didn't think you were that drunk until you were trying to rub your foot on my vag under the table at the thai place.
All she said was "Do me by Friday."
Randomize
