You and your empty threats of no sex. Like.u.cud.hold.out.
It says i should accept HIV aids as my friend on facebook.We have 12 friends in common. I need new friends.
That shit is worth it...they got medicine for that now a days
His whole family saw that I had cum in my hair once they turned on the blacklight at the bowling alley. You should have seen his mother's face.
We're smoking a joint the size of the average penis right now. I may not survive.
why oh why did i suck thise tits. nothing but trouble fuuuuuu
Ever find yourself wondering if your life is God's way of telling a joke?
YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL.
He's afraid of heights. How do I know, you ask? Blowjob on his roof.
I've given up for the day already. I just wanna eat cheesecake and hide from her.
We play beat the clock every morning. When the alarm goes off, she hits snooze and drops her panties. If I can't finish in time to beat the snooze, she jumps in the shower and I've gotta jerk off.
I love birth control. How's that for a Facebook status on valentines day.
I need to mount that unicorn and turn him into a full blown steed.
Trouble in the neighborhood - turns out my brother's summer lawn care gig also entailed banging three different MILFs and they just all found out about each other
Gotta pay for college somehow...
They just canceled the season. It’s going to be harder to bang soccer moms this year
Randomize
