i hooked up with a boy reading dear john, i have to get points for that somewhere
no he gets major points for having a girl hookup with him after reading dear john
she passed on me to fuck the foreign guy. is there a manlier, slightly less gay way of saying "always the bridesmaid, never the bride"?
nope.
So basically our separate showers turned into one shower, to save water, which turned into a bath, which turned into sex on the bed, which turned into drinking beer in the bed, and thats what the stain is from... bud light. sorry.
The pick up line I used was "Grab my sack, you'll be back." Then I winked at her.
They just asked a fat guy to move to the other side of the plane. Send me a pic of your tits incase we crash
My drunk neighbor is arguing with a goose in his yard. This was the highlight of my day.
As I was sneaking out of his house last night his moms lover was sneaking in, he held the door for me...
Got laid at work. Yes, AT work, why they let me run this tennis center by myself speaks to their poor judge of character.
BTW car sex works all the muscle groups. Just sayin. Legs/butt are sore as are arms, back and core.
your keys are upstairs on the nightstand or I put them in the hole in the wall
My crotch smells like fire and I can't find my pants
I lost my voice. So I'm going to pretend I'm Ariel with legs today.
Fuck him and his perfect arms, huge penis and relentless ability to ignore me.
He held my hair while I gave him a blow job. Now that's teamwork.
Not only did I sleep with the guy but I think I may have called my work and quit to go work for him.
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