Dude you just kept yelling "She was my first asain!" right in front of her.
the people going to church this morning while i was walking home did not seem as pleased as i was with how many beads i earned last night
he thanks me after handjobs.
you found the perfect man.
She didn't talk for 45 minutes. We finally convinced her to open her mouth. There was a flower in there.
As he was under the stripper backwards, he yelled "we should totally be facebook friends"
Talking to a male stripper. About the LSAT. Only in Vegas.
I gave her at least chlamydia. Maybe worse. She is also into chicks and loves taking naked pics. It's like the less I believe in Jesus, the more he rewards me.
Yes, you can 69 in a fiat. But I think I have permanent nerve damage
Still losing my voice, so I am trying to get it back through drugs. Welcome to my Monday logic.
he kept telling me how much his girlfriend would love me while we were making. why does tequila always do this to me?
Just out of curiosity. Did you wait until my fb picture was well liked by others before liking it so people won't know we're fucking?
I had very briefly met him a few years ago. My friend was tired of hearing us both complain about being horny. She figured she would fuck two birds with one stone.
Holy shit, did you actually CHOOSE to get hit by the alcohol truck last night?
My mom just asked if I've gotten any girls pregnant how is your day going
that guy was staring at your tits.
nah, more like they were staring at him, and his girlfriend, and her less than adequate bosom. they pitied the fool.
point taken, oh mistress of the bosoms.
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