We had sex on my friends waterbed ..after that the whole school kept asking him if he had fun getting "sea-sick" last night.
Dude just bought condoms some sad fuck next to me buying a pregnancy test he gave me a look like he'd pay me millions to switch places
I'm telling you the guy came in bought a box of condoms and all three of the chicks that came in behind him followed him to his car. I want his life
I stayed at the bar and helped clean up cause I was told I'd get free shots. Didn't happen.
There's always the 'not have sex with the drunk girl I just met at some party' option.
That was the plan but Tequila showed up at the party too.
They're doing shots to celebrate every 15 minutes passing. You can come get them.
The claw marks on my back are healing nicely. Just thought you should know.
My bad. Next time I'll wear mittens.
Is he the circus guy or the bi-curious street preacher?
Please write a memoir and name it "Game Boy and Dick Stuff"
My head feels like Jesus is projectile vomiting hammers on it
Everyone is out there getting real jobs and I just realized I've been "washing" my clothes with fabric softener for two months.
we just ate hash browns in a nativity scene with baby jesus
I was blacked out when we met, so basically this will be a blind date.
My next goal in this relationship is to teach my boyfriend that there are valid reasons to be fear of dolphins completely.
If I get my period the weekend your parents are gone i'm removing my uterus.
Randomize
