I wish costco sold astroglide.
i wish my brain was less awake, and didn't try and picture what you were talking about.
Then my mouth guard fell out of the hole, so that's how the dog poop got in my mouth.
We just watched planet earth in marine bio. And our prof told us that was all we were doing on 420
because whats more american than sleeping with a westpoint cadet on the 4th of july?
You totally drew a penis wizard on my closet that says "I travel for cock rock"
They're here. One showed up as a slutty Crayola, and I think the other came as The Fat Friend.
I told him I'd put in a good word. And the word of the day is: NEGATIVE
When we found you, you were using the bottle of Captain as a pillow...with a note on your forehead that said don't wake up the champion.
you vomited through the snorkel and onto the back of your head. it was truly amazing
She stopped mid hookup to ask me if we'd be done before Taco Bell closed.
At one point he was so drunk he was carrying around a bottle of patron drinking out of it and falling everywhere and every time he spilled it he would scream "THERE GOES TWENTY DOLLARS."
If you have shit your pants within the past two years, please take a seat.
she definitely didn't appreciate it when you justified bringing her home by yelling to me "fat bitches need love too"
We had a company shotgunning beers contest in the parking lot today, and I won. God bless America!
You know, you could always move. Lol somewhere without gators, water moccasins, and Marco Rubio.
Randomize
