I'm torn. Shes everything I ever wanted, but I just cant get past the story about having drunken sex with her dog in high school.
If I sit on the seam of my jeans just the right way when the bass hits, this might be my new favorite band.
history professor just told us he has magic fingers. i'm going for it.
You know what is really helpful - when the two guys you want to fuck stand next to each other. Stay tuned for who wins
thankjk goddddn taco bell uis open htis lateee!
you do know it's eleven in the afternoon, right?
Last time I get high to write a paper the night before it's due. "Tiny Wings and sexuality" is not an acceptable topic to for a paper. Class in 30 minutes. I'm fucked...
how much ball-pain constitutes an emergency?
You asked him for a membership to him and his dick.
You know you drank too much last night when your mouthwash tastes like water
I may have had sex with him and told him we wasn't worth my time then went home and made mashed potatoes
This is classic penis vs brain.
Look, sometimes you have to snapchat a topless photo of yourself in the middle of class just to prove you can. I can and I did. End of argument.
I mean I just feel if I'm not being fat and lazy then I'm not really being myself
She answered the door wearing a basket, said it was the only clean thing she had.
we're spending all day in bed drinking spiked eggnog and fucking
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