windsor, ontario is like a poor man's amsterdam
no, it is just poor
Her parents hate her and she's on like major lockdown. All her friends are in jail and she has massive pit stains. Dude... It doesn't get much worse than that.
You were so trashed that when you dropped your fruit rollup on the floor, you just sat next to it and cried.
At first I was confused when I woke up with shards of glass and pickle brine in my pants. But then I remembered I hung out with you last night.
I just saw a girl walking up the hill with a little red wagon full of booze... I want to be in her study group.
I told him I'd put in a good word. And the word of the day is: NEGATIVE
110% paid for our cab with a lap dance
She walks around topless and loves making sandwiches. That's how a one-night stand turned intoa relationship
Im like a hedgehog. Easy to corner or get within reach, but tough to get right close to. Like a rooster with its feathers surgically replaced with razors
We don't know where he is but he left his pants and what appears to be a tooth here so he's gotta come back sometime
Woke up in a sombrero and a males speedo. Tequila makes normal peoples clothes fall off, however it makes me fall into a questionable identity crisis
you know you're a stoner girl when you get a callus from your grinder
You tried to order fondue take-out.
From Taco Bell.
it’s not easy to sexualize brunch. work with me, babe.
I'm going to talk him into letting me tie him up, and then just leave him that way and go meet you for fro-yo.
Randomize
