Farted during a conference call.SBD. permeated the room people were gonna puke.noone could say anything or leave cus we were on the phone with clients. coworkers were outraged.how I still have a job is beyond me.
and all i could think was, am i really about to have sex with someone who still thinks that pee comes out of the actual vagina?
Yeaaah, so cabbie laughed at me, and said, "rough nite? Let me find you some music" . apparently OPP is the appropriate ride of shame soundtrack.
Well the nurse forgot to take all my stitches out, so my surgical tools are peroxide, kitchen scissors, fingernail clippers, a pocket knife, and 11 beers. Let's do this...
Hah, I lost the lenses in my glasses, didn't event notice til this morning... How was the meeting?
I just saw a commercial for God of War and heard the nickname he gave my vagina.
He's sitting in his room on Facebook with nothing but a pillow covering his crotch. I can't help you at the moment.
She waited 7 months to break out her comicon costumes. I was only mad it took her so long. I fucked an elf last night and strawberry shortcake the night before!
My worst fear almost came to light...I was choking and the cats stared at me like they had no problem eating my face if I died
Going through Bojangles drive thru chanting "KFC" hammered at 8:00 was the highlight.
Yeah bunch of crazy shit... Makes you wonder how anyone found someone before tinder
I woke up and there was a mans ass as my screensaver...
Why did I wake up to a snap chat of myself drinking beer out of a blender?
Tim is a child that you physically can't love because he makes it hard for you to even find anything redeeming about him so you debate leaving him forever at the gas station.
its like probably shouldnt be sending pics of your asshole to strangers who work in the same building as you
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