What would a frattoo be? Maybe like the Chinese symbol for Keystone Light.
she gave me a schnouzer then wanted to kiss while we were having sex...i had to puppy slap her nose. pick me up out front.
yeah worst sex in my life. plus i think her little brother was in the room.
Mars, I'm going to name my child horatio mars. He will hate me till he gets high. Then he'll understand
dude you apologized to her after she called you stupid. you were like "no i'm sorry, you shouldn't have to be around stupid people, it's my fault"
As i looked at his penis, it stared back into my soul. No more drinking games.
Also, that dude projectile vomiting all over the living room was the perfect distraction for me to swipe the booze and run.
after giving head I just always feel like I need like. ice cream. as both a means of getting the lingering sperm out of my mouth, and a congratulations.
i dont remember how or why, but i now have 3 coupons for a free BJ from Anise stapled to my right arm.
This guy has a theme song for the joints he rolls
The fact that you got a stranger guy to buy you a pizza off tinder makes me feel amazing
Do not try to steal a picnic table from a park, all you will end up with are sore arms and broken dreams.
is it bad that I see hot guys I wanna sleep with as challenges instead of actual people?
yes. but it works for you
They have one of those claw machines here... with a dildo in it...
I was about to break it off with him because I realised he only wanted me for sex, until I realised that I only wanted HIM for sex. Win/win
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