what happened last night?
u kept telling him to fuck u optimus prime style
that explains why his roommate kept saying autobots roll out this morning as i left
Skanksgiving break is awesome already... pilgrim and indian roleplay tonight.
on the last problem of the exam i just drew a picture of a cat and left
We should make a goal to do one active thing a day, even if its like throwing a ball
And by ball i mean playing catch. Beer pong does not count as an activity
he asked my vagina if she was excited to meet Leonard. LEONARD. His fuckin penis is named Leonard.
It was really weird walking into a CVS and not going straight to the pharmacy for plan B.
She gave me a foot massage while her friend rode me. Your gf puked into the oscolating fan. How were our nites alike?
He used the expression "my couch is your couch" as a come on line.
I just had the weirdest moment. Made eye contact at the bar with a girl who has seen my vagina.
I just ran into the woods like an idiot because ADVENTURE.
So now I'm lying here in bed taking notes from Teen Mom... I fucked up
ED guy's penis finally worked last night. It was a Festivus miracle!
Tonight is an "I'm lonely and single so I'm going to curl up in a warm, melatonin and vodka enriched ball in the corner of my bed with a cat." kind of night.
Apparently I’m a terrible influence when alcohol is involved
On a scale of having tea with Ghandi to the apocalypse how bad of an idea is it to drink with a 100 degree fever?
Randomize
