best googles of the semester: toe fucking, purpose of two nostrils, human tail. with pictures
it's official, i know exactly what cross streets we're at by the bumps when i give him road head
I passed out on the floor of a truck stop. Drinking binge 2011 is now over.
Everyone knows relationships are a winter sport
Just witnessed a bar fight started by a guy wearing a construction vest cuz he didn't like the other guys shirt
Ugh why does it have to be margarita Monday. Why can't it be pants off dance off beer pong but with jager Monday.
it says 'tasty bitch' in sharpie on my tits...
TONGUES ARE JUST MEAT TENTACLES IN OUR MOUTHS OMG
HOW ABOUT I DON'T WAKE UP TO THESE TYPES OF TEXTS
I just masterbated to the home shopping channel...what have I become...
The guy who said he's gonna suck your butthole till your face caves in is at Maggie's
To shove my foot up anybody ass who tries to start shit. I'm not takin shit this year. That and I wanna volunteer somewhere to help make a difference
Nice. I like it when Maker's Mark makes decisions for you.
Blueberry probiotics greatly increase to the masturbation experience. Try it dude. It’s all the rage
Im drunk taking pregnancy tests with this really hot girl...i dont know what is happening
He deliberately gets me high because he knows I fuck better and then I make food for two. I don't know if I should feel mad or proud of him for thinking that far.
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