i either just vomited on a lesbian or a small boy
He tried. I said no. He said, "It's ok if I do this?" and proceeded to jerk himself off. Oh, the French.
please tell me you didn't have sex with him in the bathroom...
Does an alley count?
I was actually high enough at that point that I was just casually following your glowing footsteps like in Avatar while we ran from the cops.
Thinking about fake proposing to my gf just so the middle aged women next to us will buy us drinks
Well he has a girlfriend. So I told him that I wanted to have sex way more than I wanted to be a decent human being.
The maid moved your bed and found almost 40 used condoms and wrappers. She just looks at me and says "Dave?"
Woke up the day after the party with a bruise on my stomach. Pretty sure my liver was trying to escape for fear of it's life.
I'm pretty sure I made out with a guy in a man thong.
but I have boobs. I'm not going to buy my own drinks at the bar like some kind of fucking animal.
I HAVE TOO MICH DICK TALKING TO ME IDK WHAT TO DO.
He sent me a picture of his cock that seemed to indicate that we were still on good terms.
I told the cop I was late for a booty call. He still gave me a ticket but he wrote his number on it
All I ever wanted was my bed, Tylenol, and total darkness. Instead I had a pervert with porno posters who blares german rock calling me tootsie pop. How was your saturday night?
All I remember was my mom walking through the door, and then me asking her if she wanted a hit.
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