do you think they ever dumped Gatorade over Michael Vick's head after his dog won?
When we woke up, I asked if we could play "what does your name rhyme with".....he said 'bave' thank god it was easy
I heard from anne today. She has a broken collarbone and is knocked up. Apparently florida is awesome
He is passed out on the kitchen floor. He will fight you if you disturb him. Just a warning.
literally. a puddle of blood. on the floor. still searching for the source
i need to buy one of the child leashes to wear at mardi gras or else im never making it out alive
Only I would come home from a random banging with beer and watermelon
I'm doing lines by myself in the kitchen. I think your outside. yeah that's you. your naked.
i think they forgot i was still in the room... she grabbed his balls and said "i feel a fire coming on".
What's a quick way to get over an ex-boyfriend? To hear about how he threw up in a cup and then drank it. That's how.
I LOVE DRINKING BOOZE OUT OF A FUCKING LAMP
I just realized that I have dated 5 unemployed guys...and 3 that drove pt cruisers...Turns out I do have a type.
During sex his mom asks from the other side of the door, "Do you like avocados?" Who doesn't like avocados?
I had a drinkin contest with a person that didnt exsist, fuck withdrawl day
Hold on are you sure that we dont have another roommate?
Yes.
My life is pants optional.
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