ok what kind of idiot turns down casual afternoon sex?
I just fired a shotgun out of the back of a truck going 60. i am going to miss oregon.
Just farted in public and tried to sniff it all up before anyone noticed...do you think that actually works?
I just saw the pics of me from the costume party as Party Boy. I've effectively cock-blocked myself forever.
Getting 10 cents back for every can is really just encouraging alcoholism.
Lost my virginity in a banana suit. Glad I waited.
i got a standing ovation for bringing skittles to the party
I won't apologize to a one balled man
I can't wait till we are old and wrinkly and I can turn to you and ask, "Remember when you Rick Jamesed the shit out of that couch??"
I am having the most awesome nonsexual conversation about my vagina right now
I am the worst person to have nipple rings I'm hanging ornaments off of then and sending everyone a tits the season to be jolly
hotelroom bed is big enough to masturbate in, but small enough to not want to sleep in it after you've masturbated in it
I will give him this, every time we go to the club he gets a stripper's actual number.
Keep your fingers crossed. If I get to go to a Stanley Cup game I'll give you the blowjob he deserves for taking me. Because hes definitely not gettin it.
Remember the guy with the pretty voice that gave us crabs?
Randomize
