How many 'remember name' entries is it inappropriate to have in one's cell phone?
If your wondering where your blanket is, I put it on the 2 guys you brought home last night. Their still sleeping outside on the trampoline.
Chances are I'll be there for your wedding. Camelbaks filled with jack and coke are appropriate attire, right?
On the bright side his mom approves of me. Though it's apparently because she sleeps with married men and has a soft spot for "fellow homewreckers"
She tried to sleep on the front steps of her salon so she wouldn't be late for work and these people put her in a cab to my house. She is nothing if not responsible. Can u imagine her boss finding her there this morning?
Employee of the year! :)
I just found my "random bang list for summer of 2012" that I wrote last night.. It's written on a Plan B receipt. If this isn't irony I don't know what is.
I'm not even mad. I was just trying to get a boner, you're the one that had to see that
I've now spilled wine and got poptarts all over my cast. So much for my doc taking me seriously...
You are the only lesbian I know that needs plan b
I need five more minutes of sobbing.. AND THEN I will get back to studying
Is it too early in the day to ask a nipple-related question?
We have a lot of substance abuse to do tomorrow its sleep time
We can't shop at Hobby Lobby anymore. They don't like Plan B which basically runs through our veins.
FUCK YOU VODKA I'M TRYING TO ADULT RIGHT NOW
Very interesting. Let's just say I got home last night and threw up, found a joint in my bra, and woke up naked in my bed
Randomize
