Taking a 35 year old indonesian home, only in vegas ;-)
whoever gets the blood i just donated is getting a shit ton of free thc
Its a sad day when your bush has a better set of hair than you do
Just KTHXBAIed an old man for staring at me
Were gonna hotbox in the trunk. I think there's room for another half of a person if you're interested
Tonight when I'm getting a bj from a stripper I'm gonna imagine it's you bobbing down there
I really hope you are not drunk feeding a raccoon.
This is the most boring acid ever. I feel like a child. But thats okay, I've been a child before, its nothing new.
So she just had an emotional breakdown over a birthday card with a peacock on it. Yeah. She's pretty drunk, but we made it home safely.
I need Mexican food. Like, I'd take it through a needle at this point. It's totally worth the track marks.
It wasn't even dirty talking, it was more like the soothing gentle nonsense noises you make when you've spooked a horse.
that's the first time I've heard "shenanigans" and "apocalypse" in the same sentence
Wait you actually sent a text to your self saying “love you I miss you"?
Going to the pool bar doesn’t exactly count as “exploring”
So technically I made out with my second cousin this weekend... But it's by marriage and I'm adopted, so it's ok.
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