Its like Laser Tag, but more fun because it ends in sex
just woke up with an anonymous loaf of bred in my bed and a piece in my mouth. this says alot about my life.
I've been deciding between brands of bagels for 20 minutes. This why I doint smoke weed.
The tent neighbors already set us on fire w an errant roach. How do you think Bonnaroo's going?!
Hey do you have anything at your house 30 ft. tall to throw eggs off of?
Maybe its all the xanax she takes but she literally has NO shame
Just found a partially digested mushroom under my bed. Thanks for that.
Now he's trying to use the tornado warnings as an excuse to get head. Yeah, b/c THAT'S the last taste I want in my mouth b4 I die...
Finally another gay clarinet player. They're surprisingly rare.
How was the party last night?
I'm dangerously close to shitting myself.
I don't think stranger penis made your tonsils bleed
Should I put the money for my dealer in a Christmas card? You know, make it more frstive?
roommates are droppin acid, i really should stop them from staring directly at the light bulb, but their giggles are so enchanting.
How far are you from my house? Do I have time to masturbate before you get here?
i woke up on the couch at 5:24am, hangover, craving for some ribs, but i only had a bag of cheetos and a half empty beer. man what a breakfast.
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