Nyc is like a mosaic of my failed dates.
No. I still stand by my previous statement that nachos and tequila is the breakfast of champions.
wanna hang out tonight and remember it?
There are going to be so many Snookis this Halloween that I might just dress as the guy that hit her and punch them all in the face
The bouncer was kicking me out and I put up my finger for him to wait while I chugged the rest of my drink..all he could say is "are you serious right now?"
he said he would handcuff me to his penis. thats not even possible. i want to go home.
I feel like I have streams of color and coldness wrapping around my body.
Yeah he's definitely gonna feel that one when he wakes up. I beat the shit out of him with that broom handle.
Shit stained towel. The very symbol of how much closer we are as friends. Fall 011... beautiful disaster
It's like getting ready for my vaginas own execution
He brought wine and beer. I'll put my pants on for wine and beer.
Every single item that was in my fridge is now in my hot tub. Please help
he's the second guy to suck on my nipple in front of my friends that i haven't made out with.
On way back. With a shopping cart. Minimal casualties.
I guess the lesson here is that I shouldn't send nudes to elected officials.
Randomize