Hey its my first time.
I think you mean "it's my first time"
is it customary for a bride to wear white even if she's a whore? i feel tie-dye would have been more accurate
We thought you were crowd-surfing until we realized it was the bouncers throwing you out
we were shitfaced at work by 8pm. I had to stop myself from pouring vodka in everyone's cappuccino.
You should know that Team Beyonce's Vagina dominated in pong last night
My booty call just put me down for a reference for her job at the hospital. What am I supposed to say? She gives great bj's?
Yeah I just gotta do it so that my major doesn't find out. Doesn't look good having a stripper teach your 3rd grader
I can only only sleep there on nights I orgasm cause he snores so loud and if he leaves me hanging one more time ill probably cut off his dick from lack of sleep and frustration
You're a Heat fan? You lose any chance blowjob bc of your poor choice.
I was just tryna bring you beer girl. I should've known you'd be shirtless though
what i'd really like is a nice helping of naked boyfriend with a side of naked boyfriend.
I'm sorry I've been mean recently but tbh it really turns me on seeing you cry so it might happen a lot..... You're a pretty crier I don't get it
Just because you are home alone for the weekend doesn't mean you can act like a nudist.
I accept your opinion but respectfully disagree. Also, I'm sitting in your chair.
If the smell of things stopped me from putting things in my mouth. I wouldn't be popular with Grindr guys.
I just got yelled at by a stripper for being a tease.
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