Courtney? Is that you? I have pictures of this very same night.
Three 40's of Mickeys, is no excuse to be naked at Baskin Robins.
I know...I feel like disliking her as a person on facebook
i carry sandwiches in my pockets more than any normal person should
So, how do I go about conveying: I'm sorry, yet very glad she is having my abortion. Via text msg?
Girl walking by was talking on the phone about how he needed to write a gratitude list in her letter to god this week. Too stoned
I woke up with a half eaten bag of lettuce in my hand, wearing my Halloween costume from last year. Damn you tequila.
Hahaha my philosophy professor just opened class with "I had a shitty weekend and I was at the bar until 815 this morning. So bear with me".
Exactly, there's no such thing as commitment at foam n' glow
apparently, dueling with garden tools in Home Depot is strictly frowned upon
theres too many punctuation errors in that text to turn me on.
Do you have pictures of my pancakes
I need to show the world
They are the pancake equivalent of eventual wife
5 minutes Isn't even long enough to bring me even close to an orgasm. How selfish. Think about baseball and fuck me you idiot.
If you had asked me 10 years ago where I thought I'd be right now at 26 years old, I can bet you one million dollars that "tweezing out my nose hairs before I go in to get laser hair removal on my upper lip" would NOT have been the answer
I'm just happy stripping was the reason you fractured your hand
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