Kelly went into her room with Dave, but is moaning Tommy...
about to try to wax my asshole... wish me luck
First day at work... I clogged up the office toilet on purpose to assert my dominance.
i woke up to him dangling his cock in front of my face
i threw up on the table at the pizza place and peed in her room mates closet. i wouldnt invite me back either
for future reference mormans are hard to crack but they give fucking amazing hand jobs.
It's only 8pm and Karl already got a stripper fired.
Dude. I kneed him in the face and gave him a black eye. It's like a constant reminder of our hookup. I feel like herpes. I never go away...
So I found the perfect "Yeah I gained weight since high school but it went to all the right places" outfit for the reunion this weekend.
is leaving the club to fk in his friends van subtle?
You left me a message at 3am crying because you just found out there's a Paddington Bear statue in Peru.
Please come to class. I miss you and I have a horse mask
I JUST SAW MY THERAPIST OUTSIDE OF WORK AND I DONT KNOW THE ADULT THING TO DO
Is using La Croix as a mixer for vodka a legit way to reach my daily water consumption?
Well hell, he's gotta sleep in the bed he's made. Multiple times. For multiple girls I'm sure.
Randomize
